It makes me sad to watch all of these Hollywood kids fall into such a discrace. Britney, Lindsay, Paris, Nicole... they’re big "stars" right, leading us as rolemodels? Well  the biggest stars of the party scene. One by one they have gotten a big dose of reality. Britney and Lindsay have been into rehab, Nicole faces a DUI charge, and Paris went to jail.

Well, actually I take that back, rehab for them is a luxury stay at Promises and Paris seems to have gotten jail lite.

Regardless, where are the parents of these Hollywood hell raisers? If I did not eat all my peas, my mother would slap me to the other side of Tuesday. Then if I ended up on a blog showing my goods, my guess is they would go American military on my ass.

And what about all the coverage, the more attention we show the worse they get. What does this teach our next line of celebrities? Is Dakota Fanning going to be letting her nipple slip now that her career has cooled (although I am sure she will turn out well as she has had Tom Cruise as role model)?!

If you are one of the three people who have not seen Kim Kardashian's sex tape, then I applaud you for having taste. What interests me about this chick is her fame. Some might think that it came from her famous family, but truth is... that line is pretty long here in America, we have had so many famous people in the past 50 years I can't even keep track. The truth is it is all about her ass. She was recently questioned about her hump:

"I'm Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That's how I was born. I can't help it. I'm not gonna fight it. I definitely need to work out more and tone up, but I'm proud of my body. I'm not against [plastic surgery]."

Let me translate the "smartness" of this quote:

Armenian's have big asses, in fact they have large tits and asses. This is just the way it is and I accept it. But, I need to work out to fight it because I really want to be like Paris, skinny and hot. However I am proud of the fact that I don't and that I let it all hang because that is what makes me-me! You know, I am special! But if it gets out of control, instead of working out, I will just have plastic surgery because I am fucking rich. Teehee!

So here we are again, worthless news brought to us by just jared, who as usual is up to no real news. But this time he is reporting on his own annoyance:

Courteney Cox Arquette and her husband David Arquette leave the celebrity-popular Nobu restaurant in Malibu.

Both Courteney and David were hounded by paparazzi as they slowly made their way to their car. David yelled at one cameraman whose light had been shining in his face and told him that it was dangerous. Courteney covered her face as she was escorted to her car and put her head down until the couple drove off.

Courteney is currently working on an untitled comedy project, where she will play a Southern socialite struggling

I like how at the end they try to make it news by adding what Courteney is working on...

The best part about reading the blogs is all the dirt. Some celebrities are better at collecting it than others, and some should have really gone into the trash collecting business.

Charlie Sheen is perhaps one of my favorites. Between the sex scandals, drugs, divorce, custody battle and his various acting roles he has offered us years of entertainment. I actually know more about him than I do of my own brother.

What is also great about ol' Charlie is he often drags down his Dad, brother, x-wife (although she does a pretty good job herself), current flings and even associated stars. He is pretty much like the pervert uncle who shows up unwanted at the holidays and takes all the attention.

News Flash: Celebrities Push Carts - OMG!!

One of my favorite things to do is surf new celebrity blogs. I typically go find the links page of any of my favorites blogs and find their favorites. These lists remind me of a teachers list of all of his/her favorite kids. Most of them seem to be spawns or duplicates of the first blog and many of them seem to be carbon copies of each other. What I really think is funny is that many of these bloggers have the fantasies of hitting the big jackpot through blogging (way to have goals!). The main problem is that most of them have the formula all wrong and post the most irrelevant news/opinions. They confuse banality with entertainment. Here is today's example: Seriously? OMG! WTF? (I am not too sure what I think of this name, witty or stupid-you decide)

Who looks better pushing a shopping cart?

I think Sarah Michelle Gellar looks so much better than Eva Longoria, but I am biased because I like Sarah better.

Like, OMG! This may be the dumbest post ever!

Lindsay is a mess.

Clearly a case of bad parenting, few blogs would disagree here, but also an irresponisble blogsphere and media machine is also at play here. Did we learn nothing from MJ? I don't even know where to start, a child with a dream, irresponsible parents, too much media saturation, crazy irratic behavior until one day she drives down the interstate as a lunatic. Where did we all go wrong? How did we lose America's sweetheart.

Well through a little Google search I actually found something that goes beyond explanation. Access Hollywood (an awesome source of celebrity journalistic content) has provided Lohan's mishaps along a Google map so that you can see where geographically these mishaps happened.

This begs so many questions I don't even know where to start...but I will start with: Who's job is this? At some point the programmer needs to ask if all those years of school and debt, if this is what he/she wanted to be doing?

This comes to my final thought about our freak of the week. It is time we move on? It has been an enjoyable ride Ms. Lohan, but you are becoming a little boring.

R. Kelly, you have given us a very long road of insanity. All seemed so good when you burst on the scene. Then you hit it big and I was on board dancing...  then on June 6, 2002 you were indicted on 21 counts of having sexual intercourse with a minor, later reduced to soliciting a minor for child pornography. My favorite parts of this whole scandal is that it is STILL going and at one point you even tried to say that it was mistaken identity and it was actually your brother! That is a new low! Since then it has been a road of insanity that has never stopped.

So what is this bad boy up to now days? Well, for those of you who are not aware, he completed a series of strange hip hop operas. If you are like me you are not sure even what to say. For info please peek here.

I would like to know what the man uses as an explanation to describe his creative process? To that we turn to Hollywoodrag.com which offers a glimpse into the mind... of our friend.

"Don't nobody ask me no questions I don't know how to explain how I wrote it" the singer laughed "I'm tired of people asking me that because I can not explain this. I can explain any other song but I cant explain 'Trapped In The Closet'."

Kelly went on to explain "It's an alien, People ask me why is it an alien and I say it's come down to show us new genres and new ways to produce movies, magic, song and dialogue which have all been put together, and has never been done as far as I'm concerned. I call that alien. And people ask me when 'Trapped In The Closet' is going to end and I say when the aliens decide to leave."

He added: "When I first did it, the first chapter, they were looking at me like I was crazy, you know like the man that explained how was first going to build the airplane? They were looking at him like he was crazy I'm sure!"

That is a very interesting description of the creative process. I also enjoyed how he stated that he was on the same playing field as the Wright Brothers. I am not sure how this will all end, perhaps he will go to jail and maybe he will go down in history as a genius, but for now I give him 10 points on the crazy scale.

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Today we take a closer look at reality TV. Ever since that show called Survivor hit it big and Richard Hatch pranced naked to a million dollar prize, America has been tuning in. Even after America realized its love affair was, how should we say, faking the orgasm, it did not stop us. Andy Warhol would be very excited as each contestant walks up to the light and competes to get their 15 minutes of fame.

All reality TV can be lumped into four categories: sex, shock, surreal, and car accident TV. The editorial process is completely manipulated in order to further communicate these themes. Also these characters are essentially the same show-to-show and are typecast. The cast always includes all or some of: the African American (may be angry, overly aggressive and occasionally politically aware (very rare)), conflicted homosexual, suburban rural white dude who has had limited experience, overtly bi-racial melting pot person, woman slut, the fun guy, the manipulative white guy, the father figure and/or the girl who just can't get a long with anyone.

The truth is both the producers and the participants know that embarrassment is the product to sell. As most people just want to be on TV, they will gladly oblige. This whole phenomenon is built into the American dream, hitting it big, being an average Joe and finding stardom (very much the same thing that pumps the blogsphere). As the machine goes it pumps through these "stars" who seem to stand up with very little work, hit it big, get washed through the system only to be discarded through the sewage of reality all while the real world marches by. I think Wyclef's song Next Generation sums it up best:

Whoa, we the next generation, look at what we facing
The kids raise themselves, all kind of temptation
Flowers and candles decorating all the pavements
No, the perpetrator ain't seeing no arrangements
Nobody cares about the feelings of the poor
Man they suffer while we spending eighty billion on a war, uh
Cutting school budgets, US stockmarket plummets
Condition's only worse and I wonder what become it
Metal detectors replace music classes
Angry little kids wanna beat their teacher's asses
The red and blue's, somebody gotta lose
Reality TV be reality for who?

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